Others develop a voracious sexual appetite, using physical contact as an emotional distraction. After dating her for three years, there had been serious talk about the two getting married — perhaps even starting a family. For all intense and purposes, things seemed to be going great. There were a variety of reasons that fed into their relational collapse, Feel guilty hookup after break up problems with trust and infidelity — on both of their parts.
Confused about some of his post-break up behaviors, he dialed me on his cell to talk. My hope is to universalize common experiences of guys who end up in splitsville. Additionally, I want to create a base of understanding for the women left in their wake.
Women sit around and pout.
Some of it is true. Others not so much. Just like anyone else, they have emotions. Although you may never see it, some even cry.
The difference between men and women is that after things end, men tend to shield their feelings from the world. In my private conversations with guys, Ive found that the greater attachment to a romantic interest, the more asinine they initially act towards a former mate. Much of this is linked to typical alpha male characteristics and the need to appear in control. All of this leads us to the 10 most common strategic approaches taken by men as part of relational disengagement. This is the most common method.
Research has found that decreased contact is the preferred method by guys Baxter, Not all that common, but some guys will engage in various forms of distortion as a post-break up strategy. The goal is to reinforce an internal message of being impervious.
It also couples as a weapon against an ex that signals: Incremental withdrawal of support: Yet another way guys deal with breakups is by slowly cutting off emotional support.
Here, the man will become less available to talk, discuss problems with, and provide comfort. In this way, the man is telling an ex indirectly that he values her less. This is a conscious choice on the part of the guy and is designed to act as an emotional shield. In many ways, this is a cruel strategy used by some men.
Here, the guy might say something like: When employing this tactic, they guy will deliberately become obnoxious, rude, argumentative, and outright nasty. The behaviors are designed to send the message: In many ways, this paradoxical approach makes the man feel worse due to intense feelings of guilt.
This one is exactly what it sounds like; a sudden end to the romance. The decision is announced arbitrarily by the guy and can happen face-to-face, through text or e-mail.