I apologize in advance for my language in this post. Cheating men who do nothing to help their How we got asshole cheater heal after their affair and expect them to just get over it — are assholes!
And by all means, not every man is an asshole, as there are certainly some fine upstanding men that read and comment regularly on this site. In fact, perhaps I need to narrow the asshole definition down a bit to encompass just cheating men. Though I still think many of us men fail miserably in relationships whether a cheater or not.
But wait, there are also some good men who are cheaters who just made very bad decisions and are truly trying to atone for them, show remorse and are doing their very best to help their wives recover and heal. So maybe I need to narrow this down even further to: However, if they do finally get it — it will probably be too late.
And to be perfectly clear, there are also plenty of women out there who fit my definition of asshole as well. However, in our experience on this site with surveys, comments, etc. In fact, in our most recent survey Though it seems at times that these experts take a lot of heat for what they say, I for one agree in general terms that there are vast differences between the sexes. For instance, women and men have a differing tendency of reaction and action.
Women tend to have a purely internal process, while men have more of an external process I admit that this is a massive generalization. So, given a situation, women are more likely to react to it, where men are more likely to act on it. As a result, women in general spend more time considering, pondering, investigating the details and the emotional consequences of certain actions or observations they have made.
Men on the other hand are less likely to consider how they are reacting to the situation and more likely to just do something about it, or ignore it. For years I worked with female managers and it seemed that whenever there was a problem that popped up, they would react by trying to get to the bottom of who did what, where, when, how and why…rather than simply trying to fix the problem. Obviously, we both felt that our way was the right way, and therein was the source for potential conflict.
So let me get back now to the real reason for writing this post. That as they say, is insanity. So what are some things that you need How we got asshole cheater do to rid yourself of your asshole-ness?
Here are several suggestions In no particular order:. Luckily, I continue to learn and improve and things keep getting better and better. For information on e-workshops by Dr. John Gray pertaining to gender communication differences, click here. Doug, I liked this post. I think that the male genre can learn from your experience, but for people like me that have problems with asking exactly what they require in moving forward may need Linda to chime with her female take on this topic!
You made me laugh a lot! I think that is great you can come up with such self explaining title, to a very serious article, and still it made it fun.
Great post, lots of useful things here! I think that the BS here should show How we got asshole cheater to their partners, and let it sink in for a little, and then discuss it.
It would clarify so How we got asshole cheater of things that is is difficult to put into words ourselves, How we got asshole cheater at the beginning of this journey, when all is so even more confusing! On the James Bond fever I can come up with: Assholes are not forever. The asshole that loved me, and still do. This is great and made me laugh too, thanks. Doug, This is too good! I have always called my H an arrogant asshole and he proved me right. It took 20 years of marriage, but he managed to grow into my assessment.
I can honestly say that while I still think he is an arrogant asshole, he is finally beginning to … wait for it… see the light. Okay bad humor on my part, but it is true. Thanks fo rthe post… I for one never mind hearing a little bit of off color words now and again. We are all human and have in the past said far worse than asshole. I am hoping for some enlightenment.
Glad you experienced some.
JB, I was in counseling and my H was invited to go. So for the past 9 mos I have been trying to work on myself and leave him to his own misery.